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20070622
rain rain
was raining pretty hard today..and for your information, we (friends and i) normally walked home after school. had tourism for last session. steven wasn't here, was really bored so got accounting hw out. imagine doing accounting during tourism, just how much time wasted always, during accounting.. ms wales had to play her "time game" in order for the class to be silence (you aren't suppose to make any noise or anything for 5 mins). wah!! raining heavily after school as well.. others were waiting (i suppose?! xP) was waiting hopefully rain would crease however got pour heavier.. -.- had to pick michelle's brother so walked to middle school under the rain. kevin came out late so we gotta shelter ourselves under a tree. though was cold, it was good. it a rare chance, like everyone's happy today? well seems to be to me.. like we were playing while walking and stuff.. ran/walked back to senior school for shelter, waiting for tin to drive us home, hopefully he's car could fit in 7 people.. kuku.. was waiting outside S&E block so must well go look for agonie for solutions. however, due to the fact she's on the phone, we gotta wait, well i gotta wait for her, so everyone accompanied me ^^ how sweet of them =) though was drenched and cold, everyone seems having fun fooling around and stuff.. rush back to tin's car after i got my notes.. everyone just ran in the rain, throwing their bags into the boot and hopped into the car one by one.. lol seems pretty cute at that moment, but saw mom's car so got yaojun out and took her lift instead, otherwise, might be a good experience cramming in tin's little car. kekeke, but in all, was a good memory. very school life feeling you seldom experience.. was pretty nice.. =)

~ { 6/22/2007 08:42:00 pm }
wish upon the star;

20070618
should or not!?
should i? should i not?
yes no no yes.
agggggghhhh!!

~ { 6/18/2007 10:16:00 pm }
wish upon the star;

20070617
why so violent michelle?
the more i hold back, the angrier i get, the more violent i get. kept looking for stuff to bite, hit and throw.. i can't control. i just wanna hit, punch. vent my anger. gonna get results back, if results where to be really bad, all motivation would be gone.. i feel so weak now..

~ { 6/17/2007 07:26:00 pm }
wish upon the star;
strength
i can conclude something after finish watching 1 liters of tears. i'm better, at holding back, holding back my tears. i cry really easily when i was young. eg, when sister says she hates me, i'll cry. someone said they don't like me, i'll cry. when brother bully me, i'll cry. but i seldom had the chance to, or don't necessary have the chance to, maybe that's due to the hectic lifestyle i had in sg. busy busy and busy. well am i really that busy? i dunno. when was young, normally always spent time alone watching cartoon network or whatever cartoon they have on tv. or spending time with maid no idea doing what. sometimes i just sit there, watch them eat. that's how free i used to be. up till secondary school, when there's vball to keep me occupied. what do i do now then?

1l of tears, that girl's really strong. how could someone know she's gonna lose everything, had to cope with so much changes, still has the courage to live. how could i meet little obstacles and yet wanna give up? why do some people has the strength to continue yet some give up easily? like plants, animals, everything has a limit. when you kept pouring water onto a sponge, it'll eventually overflow. i wonder if a person, who always keep things to themselves explode too one day.. don't you find human interesting?? they can eat so much and not explode, they can think so much and still kept thinking!

told mama, people has to look forwards and not kept looking back to our past since, it's already happened, why ponder over it. why not move on, creating a better life, giving one-self hope? told her i don't look back, i looked forward. choosing my path, even if made the wrong choice, there's still alternative. those are just simply white lies to encourage her. well partly true but, how would someone who kept saying, "oh in sg this and oh in sg that" look forward? it's a challenge everyday, whether how strong my will is, to hold on..the michelle before.. or to let go, looking for the happy michelle. but what's happy? i can't recall what's being happy like. a whole happily family? where's my siblings now then? why do they hardly call or msg? good friends? what are they doing? and oh, what is good friend? can someone give me the definition of good? good friend? happy family? or is the stereotypical happy means perfect to people?

to close your eyes, and recall, the good old memories of yours.to remember, the you that was once cherish and cherished.
to close your eyes, and not able to recall any memories. what should be done then? memories are not presents from family or friends. they are just past you've created for yourself..

~ { 6/17/2007 12:06:00 am }
wish upon the star;

20070614
faith?
what do you do when you get upset, or feeling dejected?
i wonder how much people cherish things around them. sometimes when people said they hate someone, do they really mean it? why would you hate someone? jealous?annoying?disappointed?why?
how many people actually a few seconds off their time, looking at trees, clear blur sky, enjoying what's given to them instead of thinking of what more to get?
why people get sick of life? why's people getting crazy? are they really misfortune people? or are they just expecting for too much? the higher you expect, the more you hurt when you fall hard. when we expect, do we give in as well? what goes around comes around. if you don't love your life, who will. if you don't work hard enough who will. if you don't encourage yourself who will? if you don't have faith, who will?
sometimes, all you want is to close your eyes in a peaceful atmosphere clear blue sky over your head and dream.

where do i belong? "you belong to wherever you go. wherever u go u leave ur mark on our hearts, a bit of u belongs with everyone" really? it's different whenever you go somewhere different. your mood change, diet change, activities change, people change, basically your whole lifestyle change. even obstacles' different. however that's how we learn and grow isn't it?

~ { 6/14/2007 12:27:00 am }
wish upon the star;

20070612
time
time waits for no man..


~ { 6/12/2007 07:27:00 pm }
wish upon the star;

20070609
feast!
everytime someone lied or well, made you assumed something that's otherwise is like falling hard on the ground. it hurt but it'll heal. but you'll get scars. haha. accident prone people gets scars often.. so they'll get used to it uh.. hahaha. well some Chinese quote mention, the more and harder you fall, the faster and stronger you'll become. as strong as pillar.. so i can support ChiChi and HaHa. especially HaHa. i'll give my very best..have faith in both of you..trust both of you.. be strong.. so i can be strong too..

~ { 6/09/2007 08:48:00 pm }
wish upon the star;
kt's blog
this entry's about kt's blog..your blog gives me a really sad..or unemotional feeling. or maybe too emotional. but since one's feeling down, when heart's icey cold. it seems unemotional. the calm lake, white snowy trees, dark clouds, misty atmosphere and the isolate dock. EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR BLOG I FEEL SAD! =( well that's probably why i said you're unemotional..cause, that's how i feel or wanted to. or i duno.. like you're always, no worries, i'm alright, wah can't be bothered with them. is it the mask that i see or is that what you really feel? remind my icey heart. dry ice/ ice kept constantly in freezer.. doesn't melt, unless when someone pours hot boiling water over it or i dunno.. but i hope you're the emotional tian tian. always smiling when i see you =) lending me a shoulder when i need one. JIAYOU! fighting!

~ { 6/09/2007 12:59:00 am }
wish upon the star;
bad mood -.-
ma ma taught me told me not to trust people easily. told me to keep my secret safe to myself. so i don't get hurt, to protect myself. how am i suppose to speak out? i've tried. so instead, i'll be stronger, so i don't have to rely on others. she learn from experience i'm sure, her tough character aspire me. made me respect her even more. haha i bet i got her emotional gene too.. and that's a bloody weakness.. we hate to cry. but we can't help it. it's our pride that made life miserable.. i am who i am not. so who am i?
蓝蓝的天，白白的云，红色的夜，那我是什么色？

~ { 6/09/2007 12:42:00 am }
wish upon the star;

20070607
rabbit!!
YEAH! got tootisy already! went mirrabooka for a walk ended up getting tootisy!! so many little bunnies!! ssoooooooo cute! was really hard to make up decision since all look almost the same but they're all soo cute! ahhh i should up load some pictures of tootisy!! have taken heaps but! ^^ ^^!!

6 weeks old
white albino rabbit with grayish tail
red eye
name tootisy!!
gender: undetermined yet


~ { 6/07/2007 06:12:00 pm }
wish upon the star;

20070605
perth vs singapore
tell me, is it a good idea to come here after all? is it a good idea that i stay back for yr 11 (studying in public school) instead of foundation as a international student? what's are the opportunity cost?
is it worth it, that i've to put down everything behind in Singapore; my family, friends, freedom and independence? and come here to build another foundation to find out probability of staying is 50 50? to learn to adapt, adjust my lifestyle, afraid losing what i used to be, use to have. get attached and lose it again?
living in sg? what will it turn out to be? staying in perth? how would things turn out in sg, what will the outcome be?
studying in which Uni? should i do double? i have to go Uni cause it's the whole main purpose of coming here. to get into Uni (am i worthy though). i should at least complete Uni or else i'll be so unworthy for the family.
PR? bloody blood sucker govt!

why do you made some decision and not work for it? why do you make us work so hard and decide you've made a bad choice? why do you have me make me lost faith and hope to gain my faith? why do you have to make me feel bad always? you worked hard. we worked hard. question, did we worked hard enough? to lose or gain hope. to work harder or to give up? what do you want?

~ { 6/05/2007 10:49:00 am }
wish upon the star;

20070604
HSH
HOME SWEET HOME :)

oops. which one?

EXAM PERIOD => NO SCHOOL ^^ => 2 WEEK BREAKS!! => 2 WEEKS SELF-STUDY => A WEEK BACK TO SCHOOL FOR EXAMS!

~ { 6/04/2007 11:22:00 pm }
wish upon the star;