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20060908
Who me? Yes me
tired of carrying the mask i've been wearing.. all i want's a break. break from troubles, competitions, bias, anti-social and etc.. why do i have to carry all these burdens everywhere? in sg and here. everywhere. this's not my life. well not the life i want. wearking a mask that appears to be strong, happy-go-lucky, good girl. so people thinks you're happy, good, go to be with so they'll feel good too. i'm sick of it. so lame. so stupid. just a moment of solemn and people asked what's wrong with me. what am i? who knows what i am. who knows me. but at the same time. i do i really know others as well? everyone feels so like a stranger. when i reckon they're like this, they appeared otherwise. given nothing but constant disappointment. swaying away from you. wanna hold back but it's too hard. should i let you people fly? when you hate someone, it's because you don't trust someone. so why are you afraid of the person you trust? maybe because you're afraid to lose your trust in them.. because it's always they the ones that upset you the most.. feels as if my tears worth nothing. it's nothing actually. just another randome acting like a cry baby.

black is the absent of all colour. white is the present of all colours. i prefer white, but i'm the black. black with white mask! nice one.. to someone somewhere but wedged in noone nowhere. sigh.. this show's how hard growing is. now i finally realise why adults miss their childhood. someone who still wish to grow up is some one who hasn't grew. someone who wish everything thing to be the same is someone who's to wishful cause nothing, ever be the same. it's only improved, moved on? or worsen and clinging to their 'wonderland'. finally realised that there's really no wonderland or paradise. cause we're all human beings. and human beings are borned to this world to learn, to experience, to realise, to know. who we are, what we are, who we want, what we want. most. what's good and what's bad. if you choose the wrong path, all you have to do is to do it again. choose even till your next life. choose till you chose the right path. then.... =)

anyway, going to the city with friends tomorrow. mishi's birthday today so gonna sort of celebrate with her. hesitate at 1st. but i know i've gotta step out of my world. my own me world. it's time to grow big girl.

~ { 9/08/2006 04:00:00 pm }
wish upon the star;